Windows to the Soul

So I wore my retainers to work.

yuck

I tried wearing them last night and I woke up with only the top one in.

....I reached around on my bed and the bottom one was laying on my blanket to my right. Ha. I hate those things, even in my sleep. Once I found both of them on the other side of the room. I had chucked them across the room without remembering it. Not a good thing to do, Lynz.

I want to talk about commitment and confidence today. I want to talk about opinions and how they can change. And I want to talk about loving someone. Let's see if I can keep this concise.

First, look at this.


"With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you." -Elder Holland
 
But I want to draw your attention away from this applying to my BYU decision. Because enough of that. But there are other things that take commitment in this life. Like, living a righteous life, school work, or maybe deciding to be in a relationship. YES DECIDING TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. Because this is what happens:
 
Everything is lovey-dovey happy for a while. Statistics say about 3 months. And then, after that, you've started to learn what there is to learn about this person. Sometimes you hit a brick wall and really doubt if you like this person anymore. I'd call it a hump. And if you can get over the hump, you're golden. You come out of the slump hump realizing you really do care about this person and you value their friendship. BUT. If you don't commit to getting through the hump (like lots of people do) you break up and there goes that one, swirling and screaming down the toilet. But too many people just give up and think, oh, I just didn't like this person as much as I thought I did. Alright. PEACE!
And that's sad. Because things can be worked through. If you're finding your relationship coming to that point, take courage. This is the next step in your dating life. Do you think you can love this person? Can you just be sitting next to each other, reading seperate books, and be perfectly content? Can you go grocery shopping together, do you like to dance in the kitchen together, or take bike rides around the neighborhood? Can you sit outside on the sidewalk and talk until 5 in the morning? Well? Can you?
If you don't know the answer, you gotta find out! Do real life things with this person! Go somewhere with them! Problem solve! Live! It's so great! When you get to this point, it really feels amazing. It's comfortable, that's what it is. And this is the time when you learn to love.

Because loving someone is more than just being so so very attracted to them. That's part of it, but there's got to be stability that comes from trusting them to help and be there for you. Also.
Loving someone is dismissing the fact that there may be another better for you.
I've been trying to refine that quote, because it came from my own head! Believe that!
But when you hit the hump, don't look for other options until you've just tried your hardest to make it work. If you ever felt you loved them then, you probably still do. But you're dealing with growing pains, and everyone does. Don't dismay!

Also. Last thing cuz I know this is long.
I had a couple of experiences that struck me, and were impossible to describe. And for me, that's unheard of. I can explain almost anything. But not this. I was trying to explain the feeling I got when I locked eyes with a certain someone. (Name undisclosed for the time being) Then I was talking to Macey. And finally I struck something. And I think it's an insight into what love is.
"It's almost like looking at myself.  I see my own eyes and know exactly what is going on behind them."
Weird.

So I don't know, I only have limited experience with this stuff. But man, it's been a ride. Lemme tell ya.