Hello, My Name's Inspired

I met someone today.

And I have to tell you that I've lied to you just now. I've actually known him for a while, but today we spent an hour outside the Clyde, just talking. And I think he actually changed my life. He truly, actually did. Here's the story:

Physical Science is not the most interesting class in the world. I think it could be, if I paid attention and decided to believe all the watered-down nonsense they try to sell us. But I don't, so it's not. I sit by a friend from high school every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I also "people watch" every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. One day, I pointed to a guy across the lecture hall.
"You see that guy over there? Leaning forward? Army green jacket and a cool hair cut?"
"Yeah?"
"That's Timothy."
Tim is in my Physical Science Lab every Wednesday. I would see him there, watch him interact with people. I came to know him even before I ever opened my mouth to speak to him. I knew the basics: Lived in Germany, had a cool accent, dressed very Euro-stylish... Ok, maybe I didn't KNOW him, know him. But I knew him. Enough to strike up a conversation with him one day when I was feeling extra friendly on the way out of lab.
Right here, I'd like to put in some dialogue. But I honestly can't remember what I said to him. I remember we talked about our tests, how we did, about clothes, and then he asked me if I'd like to join him for dinner before I went to my work shift.
Dinner.
We talked about the language differences, and how "dinner" was the English "lunch." And I bought some fry bread from the Native Americans, and he bought a sandwich from the Bookstore. We sat and talked and ate. Boom. Friendship established.
Then I invited him to sit by me and high school friend Becca during lecture. He agreed.
He's been sitting by us ever since.
Today was a normal day. I stayed at school after dance class so I am all nappy and whatever for the rest of the day. I kind of like it that way. Not trying to be anything, not trying to look nice. I'm just comfortable being comfortable.
Neither Tim nor I had a class after Physical Science. Becca talked for a little while then had to go to class. So Tim and I stood there, talking on the sidewalk. And really, it was weird at first. It's weird because it's the first time you break the acquaintance barrier. It's the time you step through, "Hey, how are you?" into, well, the conversation I had with him.
And I'm not going to give a dialogue, or any super specific details. I just have to say that now I want to try to cook with Lavender. He inspired me. That's the word! He changed my life. People don't do that to me often. So this is why he is noteworthy.

I had forgotten what I wanted to do. I had forgotten that I had goals beyond just getting to BYU. More, even, than just auditioning for the Music Dance Theatre program, but maybe even auditioning again, even if it meant I was in school for 7 years. Or going to France to teach French children English. Talking to him reminded me how rich I want my life to be, full of people and experiences that actually mean something. Full of chocolate with sea salt and chili powder, full of weird necklaces and boots, and hair styles that make me happy. Life isn't just for living, it's for going outside of yourself to find things you never even realized existed; in the world, and about yourself. Life is for meeting Tim, who inspires you to be the person you always thought you were.

I came to BYU and lost myself in the drudgery of trying to balance school with social life. Filling my time with the meaningless antics of Facebook-users and silly things that aren't going to matter in ten years, ten months, or even ten days from now. It's amazing what life looks like outside of a computer screen. But that's not what this is about. This is about Tim, and how he'll never truly know how he renewed my sense of self and purpose. Trying to write it almost steals the magic away from my inspiration. But either way, it's overcast and I am happy.

I think I really met Tim today. And he reintroduced me to myself.
And I don't think I could thank him enough.

SO MUCH Love In You

Shame.

When you know you haven't done something you were supposed to do.
Like blog once a week about helping people.
Oops?
No, not oops. I purposefully forgot about it. In Psychology they tell you about this problem where people, SUBCONSCIOUSLY, PURPOSEFULLY, forget the things they don't want to do. There's a name for it but I really can't remember right now ANYWAY

I think that going away to college was the most normal thing I could have possibly done. And everyone is always like, "I learned SO MUCH when I moved away" blah blah blah.
Sad day: it's true.
But it wasn't what I thought it would be.
I would hear people say that and I would think, Oh. That's because they didn't know how to do laundry before they left their house. Ha.
And for some people, that's true.
But maybe what they're really talking about is how they learned SO MUCH that they aren't invincible. Or that they do actually need people in their lives. Or that maybe they are more desperate for a relationship than they originally had thought. Or that everyone is really on the same playing field, spiritually, even if we have different positions on that field. And how you can get brought down so easily, and life can bite you on your ear and make you sore in places you didn't even know existed.
College has taught me SO MUCH. And now I'm just like everybody else because I've learned SO MUCH.
Blah blah.
So helping people. That's where you learn how nothing you are.
This post is a LITTLE BIT sounding like I have no self-esteem. That's not the case at all. I just have been metaphorically slammed in the face with a huge dose of HUMBLE STINKIN PIE.
And now I'm swimming in the filling. Like, how do you get out of this stuff?
Really, though. How do you start feeling on top 'o da world again? Because right now I just feel like,
"La dee da. College is kicking my trash. I thought everything was dandy but only some things are dandy. Woo hooooooo."
I almost feel like I should delete half of this post. No I won't. Here's how life really is for me right now:
I love my family
I love my school
I love my life choices
I love my boots that I bought this week
I love my friends
Especially my Ashley
I love puppies
I love pumpkin pie
I love food
Especially potatoes
I love my roommates
I love that Amber and Rachel are my newest best friends
I love that Rachel Schlappi is engaged (HOLLER-LUJAH)
I love that Becca Hitchcock is engaged (HOLLER ALSO)
I love that I am a part of the newly-thought-of Face-to-Facebook (copyright Rachel Weiler)
I love that as soon as I started doing this, a bunch of things came to mind.

I love my life. It loves me. Sometimes it shows it in weird ways, but I know it does. We make a great team, my life and I. And really, college has taught me SO MUCH.