H3LP

Why am I on here?
Why are you reading this?
Why do we spend ridiculous amounts of time on the internet?
It's because we'd rather be anywhere but here. Where we are. So we use the internet to escape, because by getting on FB we are now suddenly connected with our 1,936 friends, or at least the ones who are looking for an escape as well. Suddenly we are in the exact same place as a lot of other people, where we can look at others' lives and wish we were in California too, or wish we were in a relationship with johnny, or wish we were attending The Last Airbender midnight showing. We become so dissatisfied with sitting at our home (and maybe thats justifiable, maybe you have a really boring home) so we jump into cyberspace and occupy ourselves with everything else everyone else is doing.

THE LAST AIRBENDER IS COMING!

That is all.

5 weddings, and a wedding..

SO MANY PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED!
or have gotten married recently.
brianna whaley (now yardley)
kristen porter (now pear)
talia ta'ase (now halm)
laura (agh i dont know how to spell her last name...) (now emery)
mandy merkley (now charlton)
chelsea goodman (soon to be... McShane)
jay ann (soon to be palmer)
tara porter (now brough)
lynzi richardson (soon to be carr... oh wait. sorry i started dreaming for a second..)
tara schlappi (now bodrero)
ashley davis (soon to be.. well his first name is micah..)
brittany stapley (soon to be call)
kelsey woods (soon to be jackson)

and im just waiting to put some more of my friends on here, because they all left to byu!! money on val, steph, and rachel in the fall, because those girls are some mighty fine catches! byu boys better watch out, they're gonna knock your socks off :)

Cold As Ice

I hate the Ice Age movies. I hate them. I hate the animation, especially of the sloth and squirrel. Especially the squirrel. He is disgusting, he is crazy, his stupid nose is way too long and he cannot speak, although all the rest of the characters can. His bulging eyes and scrawny neck make me want to gouge out those eyes and wring that neck. 

The sloth is stupid and ugly as well. His lisp is endearing to some, and i dont think any less of you if you are a Sid fan, but I personally hate it. I think the Ice Age movies are poorly animated and humourless. (english version of humour for snob effect) I think the ugly characters are supposed to add to the humour, perhaps because it is not funny enough already, so they had to make the characters as ugly as all get out to add to the slap stick humour.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not always opposed to slap stick, but i just found myself hating this cartoon. Which is weird. I'm a cartoon lover. I love animated movies, way more than the next guy. But this one is just a barf fest for me. And they made THREE OF THEM! THREE! It's like they thought, "Ok, the first one was alright, but we can make the next two worse. Let's do it. Jimmy, get your smelly self back into character! It's Sid time." Ugh. 

I also hate Enya. Sorry.

BABIES AHOY!

I was sitting in the drive through line at sonic, when I looked in front of me and saw one of those little yellow warning signs that say, "Baby on Board," stuck to the vans rear window. And no offense to anyone who has one of those on your car, but they are kinda dumb.

Because what are they for? Is it a super bragging device? Good for you, you have a baby. Now hurry up and stop ordering a boat load of food from Sonic. You aren't eating for two anymore.

Or if it is to make people drive more carefully, that's a dumb reason, too. Because by the time the insane driver reads your "BABY ON BOARD" sign, he's already too close and he's gonna crash into you and your baby anyway.

So pointless, right? But I guess I'd rather look at that sign, than some sticker of a devious boy relieving himself, while waiting in line at Sonic.

Picdate = Picture update.

YESSSS! THIS GIRL, RIGHT HERE, is one of my favorite people of all time. She's amazing and funny and I had the GRANDEST AND PRIVILEGED experience being able to choreograph Lion King with her. Awesome.

THIS GUY, RIGHT HERE, was an AMAZING prom date. Wowzas he's such a gentleman and is so much fun to be with, plussss he's super cute! he's also good at jam sessions with friends. Love love!

THIS STEEPLE, RIGHT HERE, is the coolest, newest steeple to be up on top of a temple, and it's in mi madre's hometown of PIMATHATCHERSAFFORD!! breathtaking. absolute.

Gavin, ever since he was small, collected stickers of all sorts. Even the stickers off of bananas and apples and halloween stuff. And then he would stick them on this cupboard in our kitchen. Then one day I said they had to go. He only cried a little bit. I was proud of him. So i put all of those stickers in some paper and called it his "sticker book." Boo ya. It was an absolute pain trying to take them off, though. Whatever. Worth it.

I graduated. (a faint "yikes" is heard in the background)

My friends rule.

Boogy Man Come Get Me

INFURIATING!
I set my alarm for like, 8:30. I woke up, turned it off, fully expecting to wake up in 20 mins. And then suddenly i hear this horrible creaking sound, AND ITS MACEY! and EVEN MORE THAN THAT, IT IS 11:20!!!! And this is not the first time I've done this. Not even the second. Not the third nor the fourth. Ever since graduation night my internal clock has been definitely bashed to pieces and I have no sense of time attttt alllllll. If I have to get up for something I can, but if work or student orientation or church is not calling my name, I won't be up earlier than 11. Somsing ees veddy wrong here..
I've never been much of the stereotypical teenager, I thought I was lucky to skip that whole thing, but now im suffering from SolidREM-itis, can't wake that kid fer nothing, Freaky Friday, pulling me out of my bed, ITS TERRIBLE. I hate it. And then its a cycle of I'm not tired, so I don't go to sleep on time, then I wake up late and then I'm not tired.
SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A Rose By Any Other Name...

We're watching the Spain/Poland futbol soccer game and I asked,
"Why do we call countries by names other than the ones they call themselves?"
We call Espana, "Spain" but its not Spain. It's Espana. (sorry for the incorrect "N" but i can't do the legit one on my keyboard.)
Why does the world think they can change the names of the countries that aren't theirs? Because you take away their identity if you label them as something other than they are. We are the United States. Not "Etats Unis" I don't know, I just think it's weird. Why can't we all just accept each other's names? Why can't we just use all the correct names? Because they are who they are.  I'm not just going to change my foreign exchange student's name to George because his real name is Hor-hey. I'll call him "Hor-hey." or Jorge. I call him what his people call him, because that's his name. I think it's high time we call up Janet Neopolitan Ice Cream and ask her to do something about this grievous mistake that every one is making.

INTRUDER ALERT

I almost just walked into the Perkinson's home, while they were home.
I've been watering their plants and watching their house and I was supposed to go in and water the indoor plants and collect the mail and whatever whatever and I pull up, and something is different about the house. And then I call my mom. And it turns out they're all home, and imagine me, opening their garage and walking into their home, just to find them all sleepily waking up and giving me horrible questioning stares. AH I'm embarrassed just thinking about it. Like what do you even say in a situation like that? And think about all the family jokes they'd make about me forever after. Yeah, thanks, texting, crisis averted.

The Big "FB"

What makes facebook so appealing? Why is that the first place I go to when I am slightly bored? Why don't I watch TV anymore? It's because facebook is there. Facebook is waiting. And facebook will get you.

The thing that is most convenient about facebook, or FB, is that, ok, well, there's two most convenient things. One is that it is the easiest way to keep in touch with people you don't really care about. Or the people that you wouldn't care about if FB didn't exist, but now you do seem to care about them because you have access to them. You talk to the people you would never talk to again just because you can. Just because you only have 1,265 friends and can't risk losing one.

The second most convenient aspect of the FB is that pictures are EVERYWHERE! and while this can be a danger, because of internet stalkers (which we all have become, inadvertently. If I said, "raise your hand if you've ever FB stalked someone in your lifetime as a FB user" EVERYONE would raise their hand.) so while the multitudes of pictures can be a danger, it is still the best thing since the birthday list on the right hand side of the page. TAG ME! easy. done. now your picture, is my picture, and his picture, and Mr. Jenkin's picture, and Chelsea's picture, and well, you get the picture.

But FB is a big, fat, loveable waste of time. Kinda like Barney. It's a huge love-hate relationship that everyone has. It's a pleasurable plague. It's a delicious dilemma. It's a cuddly curse. We've got to get out. But we never will. So we shouldn't bother with trying to stay away. This summer, if it is anything like the last, is going to keep me at my computer way too often. On FB. But the dumb thing is that it's not worth getting on if there are only 36 "Most Recent" posts. and if you have no friend requests or notifications, you might as well be watching Barney. FB is exciting, only because there's the suspense of, who's gonna tag me next? Who will be the next loser to succumb to getting a FB account and adding me as a friend? Who wants to wish me a happy birthday? Who's on chat? Who's getting married to whom? Heaven forbid that I should go without knowing all this stuff. All this stuff that really has no affect on my non-cyber life. All this stuff that is just that, stuff. And I'm not bashing it, cuz I can't live without it, just like you can't live without it.

And we can say "Oh, I could cancel my FB account right now and not even care." But once you're in, you're in. Your days become full of, "What's happening on FB while I'm not there? Who's marrying whom? Does Jason have a better farm than me now that I've been gone for 15 hours?"
So there it is, and here we are. I'm blogging this, because I told myself I wasn't getting on FB tonight. But, if my will is as weak as I feel it is (because I want to see if anyone commented on my status) I will be on there for at least five minutes before I go to sleep.
Oh Mighty Creators of Facebook, what have you done?

Kody's Kute Mustache

Funny people do not come in bunches. Funny people are always surrounded by those who appreciate their funniness. So what happens when two funny people come together*?
*little side note: how many of us here still say "to-get-her" as they spell together? Not me, but I looked at the word and thought it looked wrong, so I went back to my elementary roots (which were dirty blonde) and said, yep. that's right.
What happens when two funny people come together is this massive appreciation of the other person's funniness. And using the other's funny to springboard their funny, to make more funny, and everyone ends up laughing til their sides start crying and begging for mercy.

This theory is demonstrated in my dad and his funny friends.

And in the movie The Sons of Provo.

And at Jester'Z Improv comedy place.

But not in groups of high school friends that are all girls or all boys. Those groups of friends are never funny. Why? I don't really know. Maybe because they have no one to impress so they don't try and be clever. Because true humor is found in cleverness. That's why you don't find funniness in groups of cheerleaders. Sorry, but it's true that none of them are clever enough. Or in groups of football player boys. The funniest people hang out on the outer rings of circles, they aren't really a part of anything, and this enables them to

A) know what everyone thinks is funny, and cater to their funny needs

and B) have a constant supply of new people to impress. Which creates more cleverness, which fuels all other areas of life in the funny world.
I love funny people. Not just people who are slap-stickers, but people who are legitimately funny.

KODY'S HOME!!!! GOTTA GO!

Great.

I always have good ideas and then i get here and i just stare at the screen, all glowy and white. My body is having a difficult time letting go of stress. I have to literally say to myself, it's ok, you have nothing to do tomorrow. and then i let out a breath and still sleep with my body scrunched tight.

Death Cab makes music like nobody's business. 

Well. I guess that's it. Gotta water plants.